This post might not be appropriate...

In Nick's office last week, one of the ladies (a softball team member!) was raising funds for her son's baseball team. The way these things usually work on Guam, people sell tickets for $10, which grant admittance to a certain bar or venue on a certain night; the ticket is worth a free drink or two, and there are snacks, and then they'll sell raffle tickets and raffle items throughout the night. Nick and I have gone to a bunch of these already, because people in his office are always trying to raise funds for various causes. 

Saturday night's fundraiser was going to be at a bar called Club Fab - with a name like that, it has to be good, right? We made plans to head there a little after the event opened, pick up one of the other attorneys from Nick's office on the way, and then leave after a couple hours - not a late night or anything. 

Things began to fall apart when we called the attorney to say we were on our way to pick him up, and he suggested that we stop in for a drink on the way (he lived just a block from the venue, so we would park there and walk to the destination). He's a fun guy and very hospitable, so of course we were glad to stop in his place. He set out a "cold collation" and opened some beer and we had a nice time! So nice, in fact, that I began to believe that we wouldn't be going to the fundraiser after all. 

Then the beer ran out, and he asked Nick if Nick liked scotch. Of course, Nick couldn't resist - I declined because I was going to be driving - and our friend poured two very large glasses of Chivas, on ice, which were quickly finished and quickly replaced. When the second glasses were empty, the boys noticed that we weren't going to make it to the fundraiser if we didn't leave soon, so they had just another half glass; then away we went, down the street to Club Fab. 

The Club was on the second floor of a little strip mall off the main road. Halfway up the stairs to the club, a large poster displayed pictures of all of the ladies who worked at the club - a little strange, maybe? I remember thinking (no offense, ladies!) some of these girls are really not all that attractive, it's kind of funny that they're using them to advertise... 

We got inside, bought some raffle tickets, said hello to all our friends (many people from the office and the softball team were there). At this point, Nick was really beginning to manifest the effects of two and a half strong drinks quickly consumed, so I took our drink tickets to the bar to get us something benign for the rest of the evening. I noticed that the young man tending the bar had a strikingly smooth, pretty face and a high, breathy voice... 

Do you see where this is going? I didn't, at that point, not quite. A few people had asked us if we were going to "stay for the show" - what did it mean? 

By this time, Nick and attorney friend and another coworker had started a game of pool, down in the front of the bar next to the dance floor. I joined in so that the teams would be even, but between there having been too much to drink, and too few billiards skills to begin with, it was pretty slow going. At one point we paused the game to hear them call the raffle - Nick won some Miller Lite merchandise (perfect for the home!). Our friend won a purse which he had no use for, and gave to me. 

As soon as the raffle was over, it was time for the "show" to begin. A crowd had formed around the dance floor and there was nowhere for us to go -  we had to take front-row seats right next to the dance floor. 

And then... 

Music! 

Spotlights! 

Three beautiful ladies in skimpy, sparkly dresses and high, high heels stepped onto the stage... but they weren't really ladies! 

One was voluptuous, one was rail-thin, and one had Asian features. After all had been introduced, the voluptuous lady - with wavy black hair, glitter eyeshadow and long, black eyelashes - stayed on stage to dance and lip-synch to "It's Raining Men." And, at about halfway through the first verse she noticed Nick, right there in the front row. 

She looked straight at Nick started singing to him. Just about the point in the song where she's going to "run out and let myself get absolutely soaking wet," the spotlight went on Nick, and the lady danced right next to him, for much of the rest of the song. Oh yes! 

The very thin lady sang two Cher songs, and didn't actually pick on Nick. But Nick wasn't lonely for long - when the Asian-featured lady's turn came, she sang a completely inappropriate (or completely appropriate, I guess, for the time and place) version of "Get here if you can," and focused on Nick - again, with the spotlight - for one of the totally (in)appropriate verses... 

And no, it's not that they were paying attention to every man in the audience. Nick was singled out. He alone got the special treatment! 

And that's about all that happened. But that was enough. I took Nick home and he didn't really get out of bed until 2:00 the next afternoon.  

At softball last night, most of our team members had been at the fundraiser, so everyone was giving Nick a hard time. I don't think it's a topic that will be exhausted any time soon.  

The lady raising funds said that they'd raised about half of their goal, so they'll be having another fundraiser soon. Probably next weekend. 

Oh boy! I'm sure Nick can't wait...